"Sebenarnya, Time Saya Buat Tu, Saya Tiada Perasaan Langsung..."

Sakit. Itulah yang saya fahami. Mengingatkan saya kepada zaman di mana saya juga mengalami kekecewaan yang sama. Perasaan yang sama. Kesakitan yang sama. Pada masa itu, saya merasakan dunia ini gelap. Tiada cahaya dan tiada keseronokkan. Semuanya adalah kelam dan mendung. Semuanya adalah kekeliruan dan kebodohan. Iya, saya faham perasaan itu. I understand it all...

Last Saturday, after not meeting for a few years now, kami kembali bertemu dengan rakan kami dari Sarawak. Mungkin sebab kami agak rapat, he told me everything that happened to him and the very reason why he was in KK. Okay, let me put this straight. Elparanza Grand Reunion will be held this coming Saturday (13th Dec 2008) and he couldn't make it. So, apart from the reason that he was here to support the reunion, he's actually trying to save the last inch of his relationship with his long-distance girlfriend which will be engaged to her other boyfriend, on the same date with his birthday - 17th of Dec 2008. I really feel sorry for him, personally, because I've been there and I know how it feels like to in his shoes. Memang perhubungan jarak jauh sangat susah untuk bertahan tapi dalam banyak kesusahan, ramai juga yang membuktikan bahawa ianya mampu bertahan. Dengan usaha untuk dekat kepada girlfriend dia, RM1600 terpaksa dia habiskan untuk keluar dari tempat kerja. Oh, I forgot to mention that he is a teacher and unfortunately, he was posted to a very rural school - 10 hours from Miri and RM1600 is the cost for a single back and forth transportaion!

I don't know every detail of it. True. But I also know that this is as much the truth that should be appreciated - the effort of calling her almost everyday using the only available communication there - public phone. The effort to, as much as he can, travel to KK to spend time with her. I know it is not fair for her that I interfere, but he's our friend and we will do anything to support him. We know him as a very warm-kind-hearted-down-to-earth kinda guy. Very good looking and very interesting person to be with. Kenapa orang baik selalu berhadapan dengan benda-benda yang buruk?

I'm putting my effort to write this because I want my readers to know that appreciating is a must. Learn to appreciate people around you. Apa lagi kalau orang itu adalah orang yang kita sayang. Memang kalau tiada jodoh, tiadalah bah kan tapi jangan buat orang itu rasa bodoh dan seperti tidak pernah berusaha.

To you 'girlfriend of him', I know this is not fair for you because I do believe that, both of you ada problem sendiri yang kami tidak tahu. Tapi, as a friend of him, kami mahu share yang kau telah terlepas seorang lelaki yang begitu baik dan begitu sempurna perinya atas nama manusia. We are far from hating you because we do appreciate you as his girlfriend before. Anyhow, congratulations on you engagement day. Have a blessed life with you fiance.

To you dear bro, life is like that. It's a process of maturity in every single point there is. I don't mean to make this harder for you, but please know that we are here for you. Will always do, always had been. Learn to be patience and learn to learn from it. Pull yourself together and trust that the world, although it seems not fair, but it is actually so fair that you will learn to smile towards it. Above all, trust God. He has a plan for you and He will never put burdens to your shoulder one that you cannot carry alone. Please remember that, the least you have is us and the most of it are your families and of course, the almighty.

As I am writing this, I tracing down the memory of being in the same situation. Although, I think I've gotten it under control, but honestly, it's in me and I am still adjusting myself. I know most of you will and actually can relate yourself into this situation. I am happy for what I am and for what I have now.

And as for the title, it's something that he said to me. It hurts so much that I bite my lips so that I can return to the real world. It is something that I will remember because you were so hurt and our friends felt it too. Most of it, I'm hurt but it's okay. After all, this is not about me...

As you are reading this bro... As you are reading this, please know that we are here and the very least you are going to have is me...

Comments

Pirut said…
usaha tangga kejayaan.. but sumtime kena pada caranya.. jan saja urg bilang 'kepurut tai langot.. ' hehe.. :)
Ned said…
kuang2....
itulah tu pirut...
kamarin sa d kgau bei... satu hari sa sana pakan....
ReNo said…
hehe pa buli buat, dunia ni bulat..sama mcm taik kambing bulat2 ba paham2 jalah. kita nda tau pa sebenarnya yang ada di sebalik 'esok' so usaha saja dan Dia kasi tentu segala...sabar jalah kan?
IsaiahEzra said…
I know how does it feel to b in a long distance relationship...

Me& my blvd late hubby was in that situation 4 all the time we were engaged until we were married.

Our long distance marriage made us sooo desperate to trnsfer & b in each other's arm. we tried pretty hard even using 'cables' so that either of us would b transfer so that we'll b living together like normal couples but everything we did came to no avail.

Then, end of last year, both of us got transfered to the place we want, we decided that I'm the one who'll move 2 ranau not him to here.

When we tot our prayers had been answered, I lost him so sudden forever. Well, now reflecting back to al that happened to us, I know GOD was preparing me 2 be apart from him..

But, I'm really amazed to all the sacrifices he made, all the tiredness he had been through just to b by my side & all the hard work he has & no complaint ever from his mouth.

Now, almost a year of his death. I'm sure He's with GOD watching over me
im sorry to hear that isaiahezra.. im not going to tell u how to feel but i hope you are strong to be happy again...

life has to many things to offer... God will bring u there.. :)