Scared but now PROUD!

Yeah, I have to divulge that I’m a bit scared. Being 27 is another stage in my life and I can’t really accept it. People might think that it’s only a number but I say it’s a sign of vulnerability. Not being rigid, it’s like you’re life is going to end without you ever knowing it and I tried so many times to understand how most people would just take it as it is – as it was.

I am a bit sad, not a meresay. We are living in the world where people are bound to offer an end to their own life by being old. No offence but I don’t want to be old. I don’t want to stop doing things that I enjoy doing. This age thing is making me fragile and weak. Damn...

People, that’s what I think when I spent my time looking at myself without noticing that the world grew older with me. With us. I’ve been looking so severely at myself that I overlooked the fact that I am embarking on new experience, new encounterments, new life. Negative! That’s all that I’m thinking about. Stupid me...

Not apprehending that I should be proud of myself of my achievement being 27, at last, despite the ups and downs I staggered in the process of being one, where some or most people in world, does not really know what being 27 is all about. Selfish Ned. I should be proud! There’s more to the world than being a creepy-selfish-absurd minded guy.

Al last, I am me. The all-positive Ned. That’s explain the pre-menopause (hahaha) weeks I have. Gosh, how could I miss that! I have not being content with my ownself. All I’m thinking was that I am getting I’m old and that I could not do things like I used to. And the fact that other people will trounce my being – younger ones – scared me to the bone. Gosh, how random!

As I sing myself a happy birthday, I come to realize that I am just being human. Terrified by uncertainty and reluctant to see the bright sunny days over the highest mountain. I am still learning, I could see that, and I am not going to stop from helping myself. Now, I declare myself as a proud explorer whose life has just begun...


Welz said…
Happy Belated Birthday Ned!
Hope that this new age brings lot of joy into ur life..
cheers ~
C A T said…
what a great post here!!

yeah with the level of achievement in your life now, there's no harm of being PROUD with yourself! not all can be as succeed as you on the age of 27 mahn!!! so be grateful to God

next month is my turn to feel scary !argh!(well u know how women feel about aging process...) but i gotta be as positive as you,cos so far my life has been so blessed & everything has been arranged beautifully by God & I believe there'll be more things in life to celebrate regardless of the aging process...

happy birthday again yau!


IsaiahEzra said…
Happy belated bday
better late than never.

"Guard what GOD has entrusted to you...May GOd's grace be with you."
1 Timothy 6:20-21
thx guys... hehehehe.... i am proud and i think, you guys have the right to be proud of yourself too :)