Let Go

Have you ever read any books by Andrew Matthews? I have to say it's a real deal reading his book and somehow somewhere, his book may be to bold and direct; towards me. I came to read his book since early this year and I have to be honest that I don't really agree of his way describing things.

But every time I feel sad or depressed, I will always find the strength when reading his book. It helps me deals with things I'm sad about.

Recently, a long lost friends (two actually) suddenly called. Although it didn't happened on the same day but both of them came with the same intention; they need someone to hear them. At first it seems awkward as they were telling me their stories. All I can do is hear and speak where necessary because I don't really know what happened and judging is something is will never do.

They, both of them, called me continuously for a week or two and to my surprise, it sparked the feeling of comfortableness and I started giving advices and opinions. When I were about to have a feeling of connection with them, they suddenly stop calling and stop sending text, which is understandable that they were through with their problems. I realized that I am just someone for them to 'let go' and although I was okay with it, it hurts me to the fact that our friendships are based on problems.

Last night was the night I felt so miserable and I took the time to read Andrew Matthew's Happiness In Hard Times. I specifically turned to the title "Let Go" which made me realize how much stress I have put myself on. I learned that wanting things is alright and that hoping a better future starts to work today. But what I learned most was that I am what I chose to become and certainly I don't want to choose sadness. I'm not surprised actually. That's the nature of it. People tend to turn to God in time of distress. Not that much different for people too.

Yes, I miss the time when we are talking to each other but I need to move on and be happy. At least, they know that whenever they needed a friend, I'm here for them. And they knew that.