The chosen One
Because I BELIEVE, ONE Man Can Change The World.

The Story of the Butterfly

Monday, November 30, 2009
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

ButterflySo the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.


The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.




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Happy Birthday En. Gur!

Saturday, November 28, 2009
Age and Laughter

Happy birthday, you’re not getting old,
Stay in the game, it’s not time to fold.
Wrinkles and grey hair, are just a new look,
Countless experiences, you should write in a book.

A birthday is seldom, a serious occasion,
Try not to take it, like the d-day invasion.
Laughter and jokes are within sight,
Stock up on both, all through the night.



Happy Birthday Bro Gurangak



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May God Bless You Completely

Friday, November 27, 2009
May God bless you completely
And may
You be a blessing too

Granting
Others a path to enlightenment through the
Delight in you

Beacons of light
Let us be
Energy that we might shine
So that the good & divine
Send more of a lifeline ever so sweetly

You, may God bless you completely
On top of what you
Usually see

Completely
Outward, inward, indiscreetly
May you be blessed as God has blessed me
Peace be with you always
Love be with you
Endlessly
Truth be yours forever
Each breath never friendless be
Let today make
You receptive...

... To the gift that's come to pass
May God bless you completely
And may you realize that He has





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Kudos Bunkface?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Whenever I see this add on TV, it made me laugh. First, the graphic and literal content of the add is quite obvious but what I am more interested is the idea of it. Who came out with such cool and creative idea?

That's why for me, it's never about the actor or actress. It's all about the producer. I mean, yes, the protagonists and antagonists do play a very crucial and significant role but I'm more the 'background' kinda guy.

So again, I just want to say, job well done to the one who came out with the idea and everyone who had made the commercial a simple laugh to look at :)





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Sorry, I am NOT Naked!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Yes! I am very opinionated and very expressive. Some even said that I'm too bold for everything. Tidak tahu malulah and so forth. I tend to say things inside my mind just like that. But I'm not the kind of person who throws everything directly. Sometimes too, I kept it to myself. I know, some things are better left unsaid.

Kadang-kadang juga orang kata aku terlalu berani. Berlagak dan sombong. Ketawa kecil aku dengan kenyataan begitu. Belum jadi artis lagi dah ada bahan gosip. Entah-entah bila dah jadi famous nanti macam baju aku 'I'm gonna be famouse' yang dihadiahkan rakan ku, kejadian apa yang menimpah pun, aku tak tau. Yang penting, aku rasa biasa jer.


Dalam blog ni juga, orang kata aku nak show off. Ada aku kesah? Hahaha... asyik posting ada gambar aku. Mungkin orang tu tak tau, aku posting gambar aku sebab dalam entry tu, aku berceritera tentang diri aku. Tapi lantaklah orang nak kata apa. Tapi kali ni ada gambar lain sikit. Saja nak support tajuk di atas. Naked truth, mungkin. Aku bukannya apa. Aku tidak seperti yang korang nilai. Aku macam biasa saja. Orang kebanyakkan yang punyai passion dalam blogging. Aku suka pada blog. Pernah terhenti sebentar akibat kesibukkan dan ghairah facebook yang melampau. Tapi blogging sepertinya cinta pertama aku. Tak boleh lupa walaupun bukan depan mata.

Aku tidak akan berkata apa-apa melainkan logikku mengatakan 'ok benda ni harus diperkatakan' dan aku juga bukan jenis yang fanatik terhadap diri sendiri. Obses kepada diri sendiri, aku bukan. Aku suka photography. Aku suka seni dan aku suka artistik.

Apa yang cuba aku buktikan di sini adalah, aku sama seperti orang lain. Mungkin lain sedikit daripada segi pemikiran dan kebiasaan tapi aku tetap sama.


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Cuti Sudah...

Monday, November 23, 2009
Nah, cuti sudah.
Ungkapan yang disukai ramai. Banyak plan tersusun. Sama ada oleh diri sendiri dan orang lain. Tapi kenapa masih terbaring lesu di atas tilam?

Tengok punya tengok. Rupanya haribulan belum sampai lagi. Lah, lagaknya gah pada tajuk sahaja rupanya. Aya, susah juga bercuti tanpa dapat melakukan sebarang plan. Perlukah melakukannya seorang diri? Maksud saya, berjalan ke sini dan ke mari. Patutkah? Sebab mereka yang lain tiada cuti. Tidak cuti. Mungkin belum lagi.

Terasa panggilan kota datang di telinga. Ahhh, mungkin ke Kota Kinabalu sahaja seperti biasa.





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The End of an Era: Oprah to Sign Off in 2011

Sunday, November 22, 2009



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I Guess, It's Just Hard To Be Her ...

Saturday, November 21, 2009
Whenever I started an entry, I will always think how relevant the topic is to the public. How far can my writing persuade the interest of my readers? Foremost, will my readers able to understand what I am trying to convey?

Now, let me go to the fact of the matter here. Last night, I went out with a bunch of friends. Yes, most of them are indeed my best and closest friends. After a gathering somewhere in KK , we went to have our usual ‘vocal practice’ where some of us ended up drunk. Happens all the time, I must confess. The thing was, yes, as usual too, I will be the driver for some of them and it happened that one my girl friend was a bit tipsy and slept on my shoulder the whole time while I was driving to send her back. There were just the two of us in the car after dropping off another friend of mine. Upon reaching her house, she suddenly cried and said “it’s nice to have a friend like you.” Sobbing and sobbing while speaking. I tried to calm her but ignorance was a blest. True enough, she started calming down after a while we were at the parking lot.

Then she said “Can I kiss you?”

I was a bit shocked but I did offer a french kiss for her convenience, to make it short. Now people, this is not like you thought it would be. We didn’t end up on anybody’s bed. It was a mere gentle kiss, maybe a bit passionate, but that was it. And she cried again. I tried to understand her but it all seems dark and out of place. Finally she said “I only ask that to someone I can trust”.

At that point, I understood what the tears were all about. She’s just lonely and wanted company, I assumed. I was there, stayed for a couple of minutes talking, wishing her mood will be gearing up soon until she said that it’s about time we go to inside the house. I was confused and a bit bothered. She’s looking at me, wanting to be understood. I said to her maybe not tonight. Or maybe, never on any other nights.

I took my leave after I was sure that she’s already inside the house. My mind wondered for explanation. Have I done the right thing?

It’s 4.38 am and suddenly my hp rang. It’s a text message saying “Ned, thanks for being such an understanding person. I was hoping that we can have lunch together today (since it’s already today) just the two of us. And I said, why not, it could be arranged.

I'm sitting as I wrote this, thinking, what would happened if I went with her to her house tonight. Would it be any different from my decision now? I can be wild on bed, yes, giving her a blast of the night. Naughty thought I know, but not to her. She’s so fragile and I don’t want to take advantage of that. I'm sorry for the tough life she had endured so far and I really wish to be a part of it, lending my shoulders to carry the burden with her. If she just give me the chance; I guess, it’s just hard to be her ...





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Until I'm Back Again...

Friday, November 20, 2009
Standing alone in a path,
Divided into patches of small ways,
Walking to a distance to find the will,
of memories faded and white, black
Listening only to the footsteps of my feet,
nothing else.

Looking back to the pastures I left behind,
The smiles and the cries,
Disappearing slowly in the midst of routines,
For survival and comfort.

I listen to, every now and then,
The debts I owe to my promises.
The hymns of angelic passion.
Can you hear it too?

There's one thing and one thing only,
The choice to be renewed in a house which isn't home,
To go back to the sweats of breezing wind,
Where the sun shine through trees.
Beautiful. Peace. Love.

Until I'm back again,
My lovely...


By Ned
10.45 a.m
Friday, 20th Nov 2009
Last day at school







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Why Do I blog?

Friday, November 20, 2009
Okay, I started blogging since 2003. During my first year of blogging, I mainly blog of my uni years, sharing opinions and commenting on something. This is actually my 3rd blog after I've deleted 2 of my first blog. I have another blog but it's till under construction. I purposely make the under 'construction blog' for a very specific reason; motivation. I think it's going smooth now.

Okay, my top reasons for blogging now are still the same. Because I love and love to write. Although some of you might say that few of the entries in this blog were copied and then pasted to make as if it's mine, well, I won't differ. Yes but my reason of doing that is to make sure you guys know what I am talking about. I commented every article and stated crystal clear that I took it from somewhere else. Plus, I've also included the link of the article. Hope that's clear to you guys.



Another reason why I blog is the fact that, I love the internet so much that I've decided to give back something to the internet communities. This is what I call sharing. In fact, we can also meet new friends and extend our network to a wider perspectives. Not to mention on the knowledge and experience we gain.

And not to forget nuffnang or your respective add in your blog. It gives you money at a click. Who can say no to that? I mean, yeah, you're blogging and hoping people will give feedback and comments but now, you get paid for that. Cool isn't?




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Aku dan Kisahku

Thursday, November 19, 2009
Akhirnya, kerja lagi seminggu kemudian cuti. Rasa nak pergi jalan-jalan di tempat yang tidak pernah dilawati. Target utama, mestilah negeri sendiri, negeri di bawah bayu. Banyak lagi tempat yang rasa perlu dilawati. Untuk memahami hasil bumi sendiri kononnya.

Kadang-kadang juga rasa keliru nak tulis entry dalam BM atau BI. Bila tengok balik senarai pelawat, ada juga dari luar Malaysia yang memang tak faham Bahasa Malaysia. Tapi bila nak tulis Bahasa Inggeris, kata tak hormat bahasa sendiri. Aku sendiri sebenarnya gagal dalam bahasa ibunda. Lagaknya saja macam orang sendiri tapi rupanya tutur bahasa, jauh meleset. Tapi jangan nilai aku dengan bahasa yang aku pelajari atau gagal dipelajari. Nilai aku kerana perlakuan aku dan pemikiran aku. Aku masih orang di sini. Orang Malaysia yang menetap di Sabah!

Nah, tidak lama lagi Hari Krismas. Berapa hari lagi ah? Malas nak kira. Yang pentingnya, rasa Krismas tu mungkin pudar setelah 9 tahun lalu, telah berlaku kejadian yang aku percaya, tidak seorang pun mahu ianya berlaku. Tanggal 17 Dec setiap tahun adalah keramat bagi aku dan keluarga. Kepada saudara-saudara dan juga sahabat-sahabat dekat dan kalau ada yang jauh, terima kasihlah banyak-banyak. Tanggal yang memisahkan keluarga aku dengan ayah tercinta. Pahit rasanya nak diterima tapi boleh buat apa. Kalau sudah ajal dan rahsia alam di tangan yang Maha Esa.

Apapun, sejenak berfikir, sudah tentunya Krismas itu patut diraihkan dengan hati yang gembira dengan penuh kesyukuran. Sama seperti perayaan lain yang harusnya disambut dengan penuh rasa keinsafan dan kegembiraan. Aku harap tahun ni, tidak seperti tahun-tahun lalu...




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Hidup Biar Sedap!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Ok kawan-kawan sekalian. Satu soalan bonus untuk hari ini. Apa yang paling sedap di dunia ini? Bila digoogle, maka keluarlah search yang lebih merujuk kepada makanan. Maka betul lah benda paling sedap di dunia ini adalah makanan. Tapi aku terkesan sesuatu. Sedap itu sangat abstrak. Apa sahaja pun boleh dikaitkan dengan sedap. Mungkin juga tidur itu sedap. Apalagi kalau sudah penah seharian melakukan tugasan yang berat. Atau bila pergi ke massage centre. Urutan-urutan yang pelbagai jenis juga mungkin sangat sedap. Atau muzik juga. Alunan melodi dan irama yang sedap didengar. Atau, iya, permainan di bilik tidur juga sangat sedap. Dimulai dengan foreplay ringgan yang kemudiannya perlahan-perlahan menjadi perang yang hebat. Itu juga sedap, bukan?

Jadi gambar yang saya post ini, sebenarnya saja utk mencantikkan posting. Misi memperkenalkan diri kepada blogger-blogger yang lain sedang giat dijalankan. Jadi mungkin perlu diselitkan gambar setakat dua dan tiga. Kalau difikirkan perlu, takut juga kalau pembaca ada yang meluat tapi harapan tinggi agar sebaliknya. Kata tajuk di atas juga, hidup biar sedap. Jadi biasakanlah diri melihat sesuatu itu dari sudut positif terlebih dahulu kemudian barulah dilihat dari sudut yang lain pula. Kalau kawan beri kita lemon, kita buat just lemon yang dituang ke dalam gelas kristal cantik dan ramping dengan straw yang berwarna-warni!

Ok, fine. Semua benda dalam dunia ini boleh dikaitkan dengan perkataan sedap. Walaupun sangat abstrak seperti yang saya telah katakan tadi, namum sedap itu punya hanya satu makna. Kita suka dengan benda itu. Kita suka kerana ianya membuatkan kita gembira, puas hati dan mahu melakukannya lagi. Terpulanglah kepada individu itu sendiri menafsir kemahuan diri dengan maksud perkataan sedap. Yang mahu saya sampaikan di sini pada hari ini adalah, hidup biar sedap!




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Near To You - A Fine Frenzy

Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Another beautiful song I want to share with everybody


He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back

Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He's disappearing
Fading subtly
I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me
Please

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
Though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

Yet, I'm better near to you.



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A Night of Salsa!

Monday, November 16, 2009


Okay guys, I'm going to be frank with all of you. Apart from reading and music, another passion of mine is dancing. Not that I'm very good at it but yes, I dance. I started dancing when I was 16 and took it seriously during my uni years. Of course it's hard when public are judging you; how pathetic and cynical the society are when you are a dancer especially towards male dancers but I'm the kind of guy who do as I please; as long as I am not breaking any rules and regulations.

Now, this is something I want to share with you. A night of Salsa. I learned a bit of this sexy dance while I was still studying. And then left it a go after that. Nevertheless, here and there, my close friends and I will always try to make a move to it. And this is a night I am looking forward to.

Okay, enough of that. So guys, if you happened to be in town, the details of A Night of Salsa are as follows;

Date: 21 Nov 2009
Venue: GROWBALL ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE, CENTRE POINT, KK
Time: 9 p.m. onwards
Ticket: RM 40 per pax (drinks included)

SPECIAL PRICE for STUDENTS: RM 30 (drinks included - Student ID must present)

Collect your tickets at:
CUBE restaurant & wine lounge, City Mall
Dance With Me Studio, Taman Iramanis

Further info:

Please contact Mei at 016 833 0888 and make your reservation for KK Salsa Night!

Don’t miss out on this exciting event!





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My KL trip (16th-19th ) Oct 2009) 2 - Random Photos

Sunday, November 15, 2009
Albert and Ollen

Love this one.. Thx to Danjoe for lending his D90 :)

Terpukau dengan wayang human meat ball..

B&W... Candid by Ollen

By Danjoe and his D90...


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My KL trip (16th-19th Oct 2009) - MSM Night

Saturday, November 14, 2009
I went to KL last October and have been wanting to share with you guys the experience I have had. You see, this wasn't the usual trip I have as I've been to KL for so many times before. But this different. For the first time I ever, I will share my encounterment here in this blog. There are so many stories to tell and I hope these series of photos will say it all.

I was asked to join "Pertandingan Menyumbangkan Lagu".. Haha. I didn't win but I had fun. Never done this in my entire life... :)

These are my new friends, well, most of them. I went there together with two other friends, which were seated left and right side of me..

And hmm... I was also asked to join some game and I think because of me, team kami kalah... Sorry kawan2... huhu

Yep, like I said it... Aku punca kekalahan itu.. huhu

Nevertheless, my comrades cuba sedaya upaday utk membantu.. hahaha

My two best buddies, from my right Ollen Maiku and Bosku Bert... :)

Well, that's it for now. I will have another entry on my KL trip once I have the chance to update.
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Dear Mr. President - The Lyric

Friday, November 13, 2009
Okay, I admit, I'm a bit over the top but I love this song. It has a very strong meaning and it conveys, maybe, the majority of the community in the US. I'm sorry people. Where some of you might say that US in the father of terrorism, I beg to differ. We should never generalize people like that. So here you are, the lyric of my new favorite song, Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,
Come take a walk with me.
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me.
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?

Dear Mr. President,
Were you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say
No child is left behind?
We're not dumb and we're not blind.
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President,
You'd never take a walk with me.
Would you?




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Dear Mr. President - Pink

Friday, November 13, 2009
Pink performs Dear Mr President Live in NYC. It's a controversial song from her new album that all people should hear. For us to ponder upon...
And yes, I love this song SO much!

The clip can be view at the bottom left of this blog. Please take a minute or two of your time to check the clip out.

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How To Be A Good Friend (Part 2)

Monday, November 09, 2009
(credit to Mesh of DirtyPaw)

Okay, this is the continuation of my previous post. Take a moment to go through this entry and be glad of all the friends we have and have had.
  1. Give your friend space

Understand if he/she wants to be alone or hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. There's no need to become clingy or needy. Friendship doesn't require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.

  1. Never make a promise you know you can't keep

Good friendship is based on trust - if you break a friend's trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "gee, I'm sorry." Instead, a quick call to say, "Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my mom is telling me we are going to my aunt's for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after school - that means I won't be able to make it. I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?" That's just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was - or not, whatever. But at least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.

  1. Listen to them

you don't have to agree with them - just listen to what they have to say. Make sure they are talking too and you are not just running your mouth. Some people don't really find it interesting listening to someone talk about their feelings 24/7. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, they aren't getting anything out of the friendship. Invite them to share their hearts with you as often as you share yours with them.

  1. Don't be selfish

Grabbing, stealing and begging are big NOs in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually more towards more selfless people who are willing to give what they get.

  1. Learn to share

As before, if you have a selfless friend, they will expect something back, even if they don't make it obvious. This does not necessarily mean giving them large expensive presents. This can just mean being there for them when they need you.

  1. Don't abuse their generosity or "wear out your welcome"

If your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate. Money doesn't have to be an issue. Don't use your friends! Don't let them pay every time you go out, even if they offer. Don't help yourself to things at their house without asking, unless you are willing and they do the same at your house. No one wants to be friends with a moocher or feel used. If you borrow something from a friend, take good care of it and then return it without being asked. Also, if you end the friendship then you should return any gifts they bought for you, especially if they gave you any gifts under false pretences. It's proper etiquette.

  1. Live by the golden rule

Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. If you don't there will be repercussions. Don't do or say anything to them that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there for them through thick and thin as long as they are a TRUE friend to you. Also learn to forgive, and apologize. Don't be a brat!

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How To Be A Good Friend (Part 1)

Monday, November 09, 2009
(sekadar gambar hiasan :p)

Just a random thought I have after an educating weekend I had. Although, with great awareness, I know I've been blessed with lots of good friends, it made me think how 'good' of a friend I am.

1. Be real

Are you trying to be friends with someone to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else that he or she knows? That's not friendship, it's opportunism. Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, it's better to just be yourself than let anyone else influence you into being someone you are not.

2. Be honest
A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends. Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly, don't lie! Lying leads to more lies, and people will eventually figure you out. If you found yourself lying about something, be honest - go up to them, tell them the truth and how you felt, as well as how you may think they would've felt (explain that you were second-guessing rather than trusting your friendship). Don't be a coward; if you know you were at fault for the whole dilemma, own up. Simply talk about it, hope your friend will forgive you. They'd most likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, 'wow!' I have/had an amazing friend by my side.

3. Be loyal
If your friend tells you something in confidence, don't blab about it to anyone else. Don't talk about your friend behind his/her back. Nobody likes a backstabber. Never say anything about your friend that you would not want to repeat face to face. Don't let others say bad things about your friend until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, tell them, "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right. Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you didn't spread that around, because it might not be." You can't play both sides of the fence.

4. Be respectful
Know the boundaries. Things you and your friend discuss should be treated with care - your friend is not sharing this information with just anyone, and may not want to. She shared it with you - and only you, as far as you know. Example: If your friend doesn't want to name her crush, don't push her into it. If she has named her crush, don't tell anyone else. This is just common courtesy anyone and everyone deserves the expectation that you will keep confidences.

5. Watch out for your friend

If you sense that s/he is getting drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the alcohol. Don't allow your friend to drive drunk - take his or her keys and/or drive your friend home personally. If your friend begins talking about running away or committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse first (unless they are the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.

6. Pitch in for friends during times of crisis
If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags; if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school and give them their homework assignments when they're absent and sick at home. Send cards and care packages. If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend the funeral or cook dinner for them. Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let tears roll. Give them a tissue and listen. You don't have to say anything, just be with them.

7. If your friend is going through a crisis, don't tell them everything is going to be all right if it's not going to be
This goes right along with keeping it real. It's hard not to say this sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis as well as they might. Instead, tell your friend that whatever they need, you are there for them. If they need to talk, talk; if they need to sit quietly, sit with them; if they need to get their mind off things, take them to a movie or concert. Give them a hug. You are friends, not strangers, after all. Just stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would most probably appreciate it.

8. Give advice, add perspective
Don't judge your friend, but do advise to stay out of situations where they may harm themselves or others. Tell him/her how you perceive his/her situation, and what you might do in the same circumstances. Don't be offended if they listen to your advice and then decide to ignore it. Your friend must make his or her own decisions. Avoid saying "You should...".

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